The "ElectroBabe and DynaChick" Script

Opening montage--the theme song accompanies shots not included in the upcoming episode, interspersed with a couple of cheesily posed superhero stances. The montage dissolves to a credits sequence: two provocatively attired young women walk down alleys and side streets, looking gorgeous and so made up (wigs, sunglasses, etc.) that they are unrecognizable. The camera tracks them, soaking in their sexy tawdriness. Hollywood hookers? No. They're our heroines, ElectroBabe and DynaChick, in their everyday, or in this case, everynight duties as undercover photojournalists for a major metropolitan newsmagazine. After credits roll--

An establishing shot of the hotel. This is the Debutante's hideout.

Debutante gazes out the window. Dim and Dum stand dumbly beside her, faithful but vacant companions. The camera cuts away frequently to gaze upon her riding pants and boots; she slaps the latter occasionally with a riding crop.

Deb: Look at those two, walking the streets. Streetwalkers, we call them. Clothes make the woman, boys. Just think. With a little breeding, those five-dollar hookers might have been my arch-enemies, those goody-goody two-boots, ElectroBabe and DynaChick. My God, I can't wait to give that little-miss-perfect-wonder-duo the comeuppance that's coming to them!

Dim: How we gonna do that, Boss?

Deb: Tonight they'll find an anonymous tip left on their ElectroVoiceMail. A tip that will direct them straight to our luxurious hotel hideout!

Dum: They're comin' here, Boss? Who ratted us out?

Deb: I did, you idiot. I'm setting a trap! [beat] Any moment now they should be returning home from work, from whatever it is those purebred ElectroSluts do for a living . . .

Dim: What are we gonna do to them, Boss?

Deb: Sautee them!

Cut to: The duo at home. They're still dressed as hookers, but carrying cameras. The girls plop down on the couch.

EB: Phew! Another long . . . hard . . . day.

DC: (winking) Being an undercover photojournalist for a major metropolitan newsmagazine is no routine assignment!

EB: Let's dial up the ElectroVoiceMail and see if we'll need to slip into our ElectroSuits for a little latenight crimefighting!

DC: I kind of hope so. I feel a little . . . dirty, after spending the day in this outfit!

ElectroBabe punches in the code on her wristcomp.

Cutaway (shot of LED display): Proceed at once to Gatsy Suite at Hotel Roberts, to investigate possible lead on zirconium heist.

DC: Oooh! A hot tip!

EB: Roger that, DynaChick! We can access the hotel's registry with my ElectroComp!

ElectroBabe punches in another code.

DC: (pointing) Now there's a name for a jewel thief--"Debra Usher Tante." Sounds French.

EB: It also sounds pretty funny, DynaChick. Debra Usher Tante... (repeats the name aloud a few times, and then slaps fist into palm) Deb U. Tante! The Debutante!

DC: The Debutante!? Isn't she the heiress to that fertilizer fortune--the one who went insane because she was blackballed by every sorority at Ivy League?

EB: One and the same. And if she's in town, she's up to no good!

EB and DC in unison: Time to Electro-Change!

EB and DC change, in an extended sequence.

Cut to stairwell: The well-coiffed duo climb the stairs. Lots of low angle shots, with "ascension" music (rising scale).

Cut back to the Debutante, who watches the heroines on her t.v.

Deb: They're walking, right into my trap!

Cut to the stairwell, and close in on a tripwire, which EB/DC stumble onto.

Narrator: Watch out, ElectroBabe and DynaChick!

The duo are caught in a net which drops, unexpectedly, from above. They struggle for several moments, a wriggling, amorphous cocoon.

DC: Oh my goodness! We walked right into their trap!

EB: Hang on, DynaChick. Hang on!

They eventually break free and continue up the steps.

Narrator: You have to admire their perseverance, if not their perception. The high-voltage vixens are going to keep walking--right into Debutante's diabolically kinky trap!

Cut to the hotel hallway. EB and DC enter.

EB: Remember, DynaChick. We've got to be extra quiet to keep from waking up the other guests!

DC: Right, ElectroBabe. Let's ElectroTippyToe.

The two make their way in false slow motion down the hallway, parodying the typical t.v. action show. From low, mid, and reverse angles, the camera lovingly follows their pantomime in an extended sequence. They finally arrive at the villains' door.

DC: This is it, ElectroBabe.

EB: I brought a disguise. Here. Put this on.

From her utility belt, ElectroBabe produces a maid disquise: rubber gloves, apron, feather duster. They put on the items and knock.

EB/DC: Housekeeping.

Cut to the inside of the room. Debutante appears to be alone.

Deb: It's about time! This place is a pigsty.

The duo continue their "maid charade," periodically applying tape for fingerprints after they've dusted something and generally being very obvious, even though they're supposed to be acting in a secret-agent capacity. Deb shadows them in the background.

Deb (finally): Are those costumes standard housekeeping issue?

The duo exchange smiles, like "We've got enough to take her to justice, so let's reveal our superheroine identities!" They assume a haughty "fists on hips with legs spread" stance.

EB (smugly): Things are not always what they seem, Debutante!

They yank off their disquise, as though they ever really had the element of surprise on their side.

DC: Now it's time to acquaint you with standard prison issue!

EB: That's right, Debutante. Tonight you'll be staying in the state pen rather than this luxurious hotel hideout.

Dim and Dum sneak up behind them.

Narrator: Watch out, ElectroBabe and DynaChick! You've got company!

Deb: Give it up!

DC: Not a chance! We have you right where we want you!

D and D subdue the duo from behind, who struggle helplessly.

Deb: And now I have you right where I want you!

D and D apply chloroform cloths to the ladies' noses. The duo become woozy and start to collapse in the goons' arms.

Deb: Dim, Dum . . . Put 'em in the Hot Box!

The helpless duo slip into catatonia. Dim and Dum scoop them up and carry them out of the room, looking like two brides being carried over the threshold to their honeymoon beds.

In the next room we find them both in the Hot Boxes--the girls' laps are encased in the boxes, which are like some kind of chastity belt. The boxes hum and gyrate, unseen machinery probing and caressing the heroines' every orifice!

Dim: The boss said to go ahead without her. She had to go to a Debutante Ball.

Dum: She told us to put you in the Hot Box until you pass out. And then we're going to baste you with a honey marinade!

Dim: You two sure are hot stuff!

Dum: Yeah, look at 'em cook!

The goons laugh and lick their lips. The duo struggle valiantly for awhile, but ultimately sway to the rhythm, heads drooping forward.

DC: I don't think I can take much more of this!

EB: I can feel that right through my tights! Good thing I wore clean underwear.

Narrator: Can this really be happening? Are our eyes deceiving us? ElectroBabe and DynaChick to be pressure-cooked into submission by the devilish Debutante? Hang on, ElectroBabe! Keep your cool, DynaChick! Don't make your own sauce! Don't let it cook your goose! Don't stew in your own juices!

EB: DynaChick! I'm growing weak!

DC: I'm getting woozy!

The duo fight the good fight but eventually pass out in the grip of the fiendish device. Wipe to a bedframe, minus its mattress. The duo are dumped into this square and lined up side by side. Working slowly and methodically, Dim and Dum tie them down. The duo awake to find their hands and legs stretched to the top and bottom of the frame. It's just like a rack, beneath two UV lights.

DC: Ohhhh. Where are we? What happened to us? ElectroBabe! What are they going to do to us?

EB: You fiends! Just what exactly is your nefarious scheme?

Narrator: To baked beneath oversized heating lamps! And basted with a honey glaze marinade! Oh, the indignity! ElectroBabe basted to yummy perfection! DynaChick glazed like candied yams! Don't move, dear viewer! The worst is yet to come!

Cut to commercial--Email address, URL.

Narrator: When last we saw the glamourous duo ElectroBabe and DynaChick, they were being basted with a honey glaze marinade in preparation for their role as a late-night feast for some unseen beast. For you, of course, some time has passed. For the sticky, stymied duo, mere seconds!

EB: What a sticky situation.

DC: You'll pay for this, you fiends!

EB: These ropes are so tight!

DC: You turkeys!

The duo are brushed vigorously and thoroughly, the glaze covering them from boots to neck. After several minutes of this, we cut to the final trap. The girls are tied to a lattice, which is covered by vines. Tendrils creep into the openings of their leotards, and larger branches caress their bodies along other intimate areas.

Narrator: So these are Debutante's children! What a way to go: Eaten by a woman-eating plant!

DC: These fiendish plants have already licked the honey off of my costume, ElectroBabe.

EB: I know, DynaChick. My tights, leotard, boots and gauntlets have been licked clean, too. They're going to digest us slowly, no doubt.

DC: Is there any way out of this, ElectroBabe?

EB: Frankly, from this vantage point, no. It looks like this might be the end for us, DynaChick!



The duo are of course stripped of their garments oh-so-slowly in a series of shots which parallel the striptease at the beginning of this episode.

DC: What a nightmare. Now I know how a lollipop feels!

EB: This thing is merciless!

After the plants have eaten all but boots and underwear and masks, the girls finally break free, determined to turn the tables on their captors.

Narrator: Oh, joy! Release from their all-consuming bonds!

DC: Golly! That was too close! And good thing we brought extra costumes in our utility belts.

EB: It's always best to be prepared in our line of work. And now it's time to turn the tables. Set your DynaComp to "stun," DynaChick!

DC: Affirmative, ElectroBabe! Let's wrap up the trash!

The next shot finds Dim and Dum themselves tied to the plant! The duo stand next to them, smug as always, striking a heroic pose.

DC: Mission accomplished, ElectroBabe. It looks like these crooks are about to become a taste of their own dessert. Or something like that, I think . . .?

EB: They tampered in God's Domain!

Freezeframe on their cheesy grins, as the heroes offer an exaggerated "thumbs up."